Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Involuntarily Admitted

Thank you for all your prayers and support.  Some of you reached out beyond your comments on my last post with both prayers and emails.

I did find refuge in attending Divine Liturgy on Holy Thursday and following it with adoration, as well as reading from He and I and Searching for and Maintaining Peace.  I did feel the presence of God within me very much especially while reading He and I which was primarily on the flights down and back.  It was impossible for me to read 2 sentences without praying with full confidence of the presence of the Trinity within my soul.  I was so happy to experience this.

It was hard to not be able to "fix" everything in my 2 day whirlwind trip.  It was a tense time there.  I prayed for God's will and guidance, out loud in the car with my sister and brother on the way to my parents' house, for all of us involved, immediately before the intervention occurred.  During it, i did not feel his presence, nor was I, regrettably, praying during it.  

It was quite hard on my Dad.  My Dad was uncontrollably shaking alternating from his hands to his foot during the intervention.  We had two ladies from a mobile mental health intervention team. They were doing the evaluation.  Not sure what exactly convinced them that my Mom's behavior warranted the involuntary admittance but I was relieved when one of them let me know the Crisis Intervention Team from the Sheriff's Office was on its way.

My younger sister has some issues too, she says she is Bipolar and ADD and her doctor has her on meds.  She stayed up all night before the intervention and she would not stop talking even after one of the intervention ladies said the objective had been achieved.  It is gross to talk about some of my Mom's behavior out loud so I really wanted her to shut-up.  I guess I have control issues and in her words, "don't respect her enough."  My Dad said I need to realize she doesn't have a husband or children giving her regular affirmation and affection.

In a way I think it is disrespectful to replay all the, how do you say, "crap", over and over.  I caught a brief scene, I think from Gray's Anatomy, at the Fitness Center the week before I went to Florida. It was a woman telling her brother, the doctor, that she was sorry for the guilt he felt, but essentially she is the one that has had to live the hell of being Bipolar.

I convinced her to get dressed and brush her teeth before going to the hospital.  My Dad told me to go in the room with her in case she tried to crawl out the window.  I don't think she could do that, but it did give me time to tell her to please not lean on her understanding like it says in Proverbs 3:5-6, but consider the nurses and psychiatrist as there by the will of God and to please put some trust in their advice, diagnosis and the medicine they want her to take.
My Mom was taken to the hospital on Friday. Due to HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996) we have no idea if she has received medication or not.  Not a big fan of that Act right now.  Every once in a while I get a nurse that seems to throw caution to the wind and slips me some helpful information.  As I realized during my first baby's labor and delivery, I must remember to Thank God for nurses!  I don't think the act causes as much frustration for non-mental health patients' families.

I don't like to take away my Mom's freedom, nor talk about all the sins, and sheer grossness of her manic behavior.  Inside her is the redeemed daughter of our Heavenly Father that was a very good and loving mother to me and my sisters and brother, and the Christian woman that I knew to notice and help others when I was growing up.
When I was 9 or 10, Mom met a lady named Rose.  I don't know where, but this elderly lady had terrible arthritis and no close family to take her shopping or to the doctor.  I remember many times going with my Mom to take her shopping, or bringing her groceries.  Other times I remember us buying Christmas gifts for a family of 5 kids whose Dad had not worked in a long time and who otherwise would not be getting any toys for Christmas . . . just socks and underwear.  I am pretty sure this is before churches had Adopt a Family programs.

I also remember a Mom that was so proud of me.  I never had a lack of love or support at home, from either parent, despite what my siblings and parents tell me was a persistent illness during our whole lives.

After my Mom left, I went with my Dad to protect the money that he earned, after paying back the 2nd mortgage she took out during her last mania to fund two different investment scams.  That and other activities that I can't stomach to write about here, resulted in their bankruptcy.  My Dad was injured during her last mania and the last few years his money has been especially hard earned, with him taking Aleve to get through work as a carpenter each day.  He only retired in November, 2011, shortly after his 70th birthday.

Part of me is very much worried this is not going to be a cheap hospital stay and even with Medicare and insurance covering something there is going to be a deductible as high as a deductible can get.  My Dad is not good with financial matters, which is why my Mom has handled the bills, and "investments" and caused so much damage in the past.  He seems to not realize how quickly his savings could be gone.  He talks about the inheritance he is going to leave and I really think it will just be the house, unless the hospital bills generate liens on that too.

Unfortunate for my mother is that she is either manic and casing their street for an audience and someone to help, taking any and all curbside junk home for creative reuse ideas, or depressed to the point of not leaving the house but once a week for Mass.  She hasn't been at a level state since before I went away to college some 27 years ago.  Part of the problem is Lithium is probably most effective at "leveling" and she is most intolerant to that.

On Saturday morning I flew home.  When I landed there was a text message from my sister and a voicemail from my Dad saying that Mom was released.  This turned out to be a lie my Mom told one of her friends to tell my Dad.  A nurse at the hospital explained that she would not be released without my father being called by a a case worker.

Saturday and Sunday my Dad and younger sister visited Mom in the hospital's psychiatric ward.  My Dad said she was vicious toward him both days, but especially Sunday.  Monday she called and said she had taken some medicine.  He said she sounded different, like she had been taking medicine.  I don't believe it, but I do hope it is true.  My Dad has history of being manipulated by her so there is no reason to believe this isn't happening again.

My younger sister wants my Dad to pay a lawyer somewhere between $5,000 and 10,000 to get medical guardianship and also make a way around the frustrating HIPAA regulations.  This would give him, they think, the grounds to have medicine administered by injection.  My mom has kept oral medication in her mouth and then spit it out in the past.  Her most recent psychiatrist advised injection as the only way to be assured the medicine was in her system working to bring her out of the mania.

I don't think either of my parents will make it to 2022.  They have lived in the valley of tears.  They live in a gorgeous part of Florida, but the emotional turmoil that they have had would be similar to what many experience in combat.  I think it has been harder on my father, because he has been abused during her mania in so many ways.  After they took her to the hospital, he said inside he felt like he had died.  I hope he was being dramatic, but he is definitely broken inside, and in need of emotional healing.

I was glad to see my kids and celebrate Easter with them.  Not that I recommend finding a reason to be away from your kids, but they really seemed more appreciative and affectionate toward me when I got back.  You would think I had been away much longer than 2 nights.

My father wishes I would have stayed longer, but I have duties here too.  I am relieved to be away . . . . I am still talking to him and my sister 3-4 times a day.  This sickness still has its grip on my parents lives and we are doing our mutual best to deal with it.  Again, thank your for your prayers and concern for me and my family.  God Bless you for caring!