I was just reading trust in God's Providence is like using a parachute. You don't really trust that it works, until you make the jump out the airplane's open door, and it sustains you in a slower descent, to land on the ground in one piece, breathing, and yelling joyfully that you were able to dive from the sky, live, and walk away.
I've never done that, but that is how I imagine it would be.
Being an independent IT contractor is a little like jumping out the window of a career as a permanent employee, and trusting in God to provide the next job.
- Every single client (job) I have had, has the finger print of God orchestrating different relationships in my work life to the good of me and my family who loves Him.
- Three times I've found work after taking off for the summer, within one week after the kids returned to school.
- I've made some great friends while working. Then, at contract end or more suddenly, the daily nature of the relationship can come to an end. In this way, God has taught me that he is the friend that I will never be parted from.
- God has also provided me some lasting care and support through some of these friends long after the contract has ended.
- Some contracts have ended suddenly, and that feels the exact same way as getting "let go" or "downsized", which feels exactly like getting fired. Usually this affords me solitude and time for several hours of prayer a day that I don't usually have, unless I go to bed super late, or wake up super early. God provides time for me to reconnect with him, when I have needed it most. Also he knows better than me when I need to be "delivered" from a situation.
This I haven't yet mastered, although being new at a client forces me to at least act patient, because I don't want to appear to be impatient. It seems to rub people the wrong way.
This means I act like I have grace and patience initially, but then when I think I've put up the false front long enough, I start "driving".
I don't think I reflect God's grace when I'm driving. Especially when the impatience, frustration lead to disrespect and gossip.
I am wondering if I am now getting to the point where I am old enough to trust God more like a child trusts a Father and not just when it comes to a big thing like, where is the next job coming from, but in the small stuff, like how do I get the four to twenty levels of approval needed to move something along.
I even have a couple of experiences where I knew he must of helped me, because something was resolved or went better that, in hindsight, it ever should have. There have been a few times where I saw the opposite of Murphy's Law. Of course these were also after praying alone in front of a tabernacle, so I asked for God's help, and he gave it.
The Jesus Prayer may be part of that solution. I'm trying to get to keeping my soul at peace while at work, by remaining in Jesus, like a branch on the vine.
The harder challenge will be at home.